On Disappointment

Recently I was disappointed by someone I respect. While the particulars–the how’s & why’s–of my being disappointed are certainly important, their importance is nevertheless secondary. As an aside, I think that it is essential in the spiritual life that we be on guard so that we do not to confuse what is of primary and secondary importance. By the same token, we should also be careful that we not dismiss or minimize those matters of secondary importance in a misguided allegiance to what is primary.

And this gets me to the matter at hand: Being disappointed.

On the one hand, anything that I suffer or lose in this life pales in comparison to what I have received, and one day hope to receive, from Christ. “More than that, I count all things to be loss” St Paul says, “in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3.8). In one sense, my feelings of being disappointed, let down, or betrayed come flow not so much from what someone does, or doesn’t, do as they do my indifference to or forgetfulness of the surpassing value of gaining Christ.

Ultimately, whatever I lose, whatever is taken from me, whatever I give up, I will receive back a hundredfold in the Kingdom of God: “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name’s sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19.29).

But on the other hand, there is a real danger in minimizing or dismissing lesser goods in favor of greater goods. Our daily life is constituted by a whole of host of secondary and even tertiary goods that we cannot ignore without seriously deforming our relationship with God, our neighbor, the creation and ourselves.

Think for a moment about the husband who is always faithful, always loving, but indifferent to the myriad little things that go into actually being a husband. While he may never cheat on his wife or treat her rudely, these things are very different then treating her with warmth and affection. And even if he is warm and affectionate with his wife, what is this worth if it never takes concrete, practical form?

This, in a more exalted form to be sure, is the point the Apostle James makes in his epistle:

What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself. But someone may well say, “You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works.” You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder (James 2.14-19)

For better and worse, I live my life in the realm of those things that are of secondary importance. The great paradox of the Christian life is just this: In Christ, what is of secondary importance, what in fact seems trivial and transitory, has become of primary and even eternal significance. Human life, for all of its mundane and passing significance, has been taken up into the life of the Most Holy Trinity and has become, again in Christ and the Church, the sacrament of that divine life.

So what does this mean?

Yes, I am often disappointed because my expectations are not met. And while often my expectations are self-centered and unreasonable, they are not wholly that. In fact, they are often a rather complicated mix of “wheats and weeds,” of good and bad desires. I can use disappointment to become more aware of my self-aggrandizing motivations and desires.

But I can also use disappointment to discover what is, at least provisionally, of significance for my own spiritual life. More importantly, and armed with this knowledge of what is of real importance, I can respond to others and become for them the kind of person who my experiences of being disappointed, let down, and betrayed, tell me I want in my own life.

Seen in this way, I can by my own effort and God’s grace, transform disappointment into something life-giving both for myself and my neighbor. I can’t think of one aspect of my life that has lasting value that didn’t come through the experience of being let down or betrayed. This really is the power of the grace of repentance, it helps us see the gift that is hidden in the disappointment, and it does so without shaming us for being disappointed.

In the end of course, disappointment, being let down, or being betrayed, is simply my own share in the Cross of Jesus Christ. And in these moments, I also get to take up my own cross. Yes, it hurts, yes I would prefer to let the Cross (and the cross) pass–but as I look at the good that can come from these experiences, I have to ask myself, what good in my life, or in the lives of others, that has come through disappointment am I willing to surrender to avoid a bit (or more than a bit) of pain?

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

Inwardness

Looking over both the comment box, and especially my private emails, the idea of Christians of different traditions cooperating to support and sustain each others’ spiritual formation work with their respective laity has struck a cord. What is especially interesting to me are the positive responses I have gotten from Orthodox Christian clergy who are otherwise not supportive of the official dialog that exists between the different Christian communities.

As I was reflecting on this I came upon the following post from Gil Bailie’s blog, “Reflection of Faith and Culture”:

“No discipline can survive the loss of inwardness.”

Philip Rieff again:

Here we now see, with startling clarity, how little our established political distinctions between left and right, conservative and radical, revolutionary and reactionary, matter nowadays. Rather, any remaking of political distinctions will have to ask, first, whether there is in fact a discipline of inwardness, a mobilization for fresh renunciations of instinct; or whether there is only the discipline of outwardness, a mobilizing for fresh satisfactions of instinct. Such a distinction will divide contemporary men and movements more accurately; then we shall find fashionable liberals and fascists on the same side, where they really belong.

Rieff and Bailie are right on target. The reconciliation of Christians with ourselves is not primarily an outward movement, but an inward one. We able to reach out towards one another only if we move inward and deeper into our own traditions and ultimately into our own hearts.

When I was in Toronto last month, I found that the people I felt most connected to were not those with whom I would have necessarily agreed theologically, or politically, or morally. Rather, it was those who seemed to value and foster inwardness with whom I felt most connected.

This doesn’t mean that we could or should move toward theological or political or ethical agreement–only that this agreement is the fruit of an inward turn and our willingness to foster stillness and listening. I suspect that much of the activity that characterize ministry and ecumenical work is a fleeing from inwardness, an implicit refusal, or at least fear, of communion.
We need, I need, no so much to still my desires, but rightly order them so that they serve my communion with God, my neighbor, creation and myself. We are made to be desiring, and desirable, beings–but when our desires are improperly ordered, when I desire lesser goods in place of greater goods for example, then I am in turmoil.

While it is good to desire unity among Christians, as many have pointed out, this unity must be a unity in faith and not simply an ability to find a mutually acceptable doctrinal or moral statement. But this shared faith is itself the fruit of silence–of a real inward turn that allows us to recognize the work of God’s grace in ourselves and in each other.

To make this inward turn means we need to risk all the things that we are so attached to–our tradition, our positions, the prestige we have in our respective communities. Does this mean that, for example, everything is up for grabs? No. But it does mean, as our phenomenologist friends are found of saying, that our approach to those things which are essential and lasting will necessarily be sacrificed.

The divisions that afflict us run not between us, but through us–the source of schism and heresy, as well as the triumphalism and religious indifference that aids and abets our estrangements, our rooted in the human heart and so it is to our hearts we have to look for the solution.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

A Hiatius

Next Tuesday and Wednesday my wife sits for the bar exam for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. After Liturgy that Sunday afternoon we load up the truck and move to Youngstown, OH where my sweetie begins her new job as a law clerk for a federal judge (go MARY!).

For these reasons, my blog for the next 10 days or so will be intermittent at best. I ask for your prayers for my wife and our move.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

NEW LINK: Anastasis Dialogue

You will notice a new link under my blog list, Anastasis Dialogue. What is this, you ask? Well let the blog’s author, Byzantine Catholic priestmonk Fr. Maximos, speak for his own work:

Welcome to the latest ecumenical endeavour of Holy Resurrection Monastery. We have always been convinced that Eastern Catholic monastics have a special responsibility to work for the re-union of the Churches, especially those Churches with which they share their tradition of prayer, theological reflection and ascetic practices. Not only is this idea one we hold firmly, it is actually a demand made of us by our own Church, and made with special forcefulness by the late Pope John Paul II in his Apostolic Letter, Orientale Lumen.

There are a number of monastic ventures around dedicated to building bridges between ecclesiasial communities and faiths. The Benedictine and Cistercian families in particular have institutionalized this work in such important organizations as the Dialogue Interreligieux Monastique and in the special vocation of the monastery of Chevetogne in Belgium. The monastic family of Holy Resurrection Monastery (including the sisterhood of Holy Theophany Monastery in Olympia, Washington) with the blessing of our hierarch, His Grace Bishop John Michael (Botean), and the encouragement of a number of other prelates both Catholic and Orthodox, is now beginning to embark on our own, more humble, version of these ministries.

Hence, The Anastasis Dialogue, a way to bring together Catholics and Orthodox, especially in the English-speaking world, to explore their common monastic heritage with a view to finding common ecumenical ground.

This latest addition to what Fr Maximos (following Walter Cardinal Kasper) calls “spiritual ecumenicism” is right in line with the different projects that have come my way in the last few weeks.

To give you a bit of the flavor of this most interesting site, let me quote again from Fr Maximos’ work. Referring the the recent document of the Roman Church that communion with the Pope of Rome “is not some external complement to a particular Church but rather one of its internal constitutive principles,” our intrepid priestmonk writes:

Yes. That makes sense to me. But should it not also be one of the “internal constitutive principles” of a particular Church that it should also maintain itself in communion with all other particular Churches? And if this is so with any particular Church, should it not especially be so with respect to that particular Church, namely the Roman Church, to which is granted the special charism of maintaining the universality of the whole Church?

In other words, aren’t all the Churches today, whether Catholic or Orthodox, “lacking something”? Perhaps rather than claim for itself sole proprietorial rights to be the visible Church professed in the Creed, we Catholics should begin to reclaim a more patristic kind of language, speaking of a “wounded” Church on the level of history. This disunity between the Churches is nothing knew. The fathers saw plenty of it: the Meletian schism, for example, or the quite long breach between Rome and Constantinople after the deposition of St. John Chrysostom. What makes the current schism different is not, I think, the seriousness of the disagreement, but that it has gone on for so long that it has begun to seem like business as usual. The danger of that is that we no longer feel any urgency to heal it.

Fr Maximos’ response is not only irenic, but it demonstrates a deep appreciation of how insensitive we have all become, Orthodox and Catholic, to the schism that now almost 1,000 years old! While we can argue back and forth as to who is or isn’t the truest, True Church, both Catholics and Orthodox would do well, I think, to ask themselves if they are really better off without the other and if our side is committed to reconciliation as we are to, oh I don’t know, justifying or excusing the rather bad behavior of some of our own clergy? Why is it that we don’t invest at least as much energy and resources in reconciliation that we squander on triumphalism?

Any way, Axios! Dear Fr Maximos! May God grant you and your brother monks many years!

I would commend The Anastasis Dialogue to all of you who read this blog.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

New Blog: Orthophile

I have been neglect in giving credit where credit is due to the different blogs I read on a regular basis. To this list (down and on the right) I have added Orthophile a blog I have recently discovered.

The author, Cheryl, describes her blog this way:

Depending on the issue, I may be “Lutheran” or “R. Catholic” or E. Orthodox”, even Reformed. Which leads me to the reason I decided to retain the title, “Orthophile” for this blog. In the beginning, it was meant to reflect my primary interest in E. Orthodoxy, but from a Lutheran perspective (I was not planning on converting). Now, it simply reflects my desire to “stay orthodox” as I wade through the various theological opinions, and hopefully come to peace with God (a peace I haven’t had for any great length of time, since my childhood).

So do surf over and take a look. In the coming weeks, I hope to add a bit about the other blogs I link to, but for now, go take a look at what’s being said at Orthophile.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

So, What Is Character?

We are often think of morality in objective terms–as if morality was something like physics. While I would not wish to suggest that morality is purely subjective or relative to the situation, I also think that too much an emphasis on the objective quality of what is morally right and wrong risks overlook, or at least minimizing, the moral character of the actor. I cannot do good unless I am good; likewise it is only by doing the good that I become good. Whatever else it might be

As Orthodox Christians, however, we tend to on dogmatics, liturgics and Church history in a way that tends to shortchange questions of character and character formation. While all these other areas are important, character is the most important element of our spiritual lives since everything passes through character. As Socrates says somewhere, good laws in the hands of evil me make us worse then slaves, they make us fools since by our good laws evil mean are able to rob us of our freedoms.

So what is character?

When I think of character I think of that relatively enduring constellations of thoughts and actions that form my life. If these habits are in the service of personal excellence (another question I know) they are called virtues; if these habits are not in the service of excellence, or worse cause me to be ground down, then they are called vices. Looked at this way, I would say that character refers to whole pattern of virtue and vice in the person (or community for that matter).

In my experience as an Orthodox Christian I have found (and I am willing to be corrected) a rather distressing lack of emphasis in the intentional formation of character. This is especially the case in our seminaries which seem more focused on training men in the academic content of Orthodox theology, chant and liturgics–and sadly the priests imitate this pattern in the parish.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

To Read More: Moral Character, Moral and Character Development, Ethics and Authentic Transformational Leadership, Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets^®, Journal of College & Character, and Values in Action (VIA).

New Discussion Group

I have started a discussion group for those interested in having a more free flowing conversation about many of the issues I touch on here. The group (currently hosted on Yahoo, but I will probably move it to Google after it get up and running) is titled Eastern Orthodoxy & Character Formation and can be found on the web here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/characterformation

I describe the group this way:

This group is dedicated to examining questions of character and character formation in light of the tradition of the Orthodox Church. It is open to all interested Orthodox Christians (clergy and laity) as well as those friends of Orthodoxy from other religious traditions (or no religious tradition) who are supportive of the basic aim of the group.

Given the checkered history of online discussion groups, polemics, rudeness or insulting language will not be allowed. After two warnings violators will be suspended; after two suspensions, they will be permanently banned.

If you are interested and moved to do so, please surf over, take a look and sign up.

My hope is that, by generating conversation and awareness of issue of character, we can begin to bring about the real renewal that is necessary in the Orthodox Church here in this country and overseas.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

O God, how long shall the adversary reproach? shall the enemy blaspheme thy name for ever?

The following is a copy of my recent post on the Orthodox-Forum on Yahoo. I believe the content of the post makes clear both the immediate and more generally contexts that moved me to write what I wrote.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

Dear Father James,

Thank you for your post regarding the recent statement by the Church of Rome of various questions of ecclesiology. Why people, and especially Orthodox Christians, are upset about this statement is simply beyond me. I think Metropolitan Kyrill of the MP said it best when (and I’m paraphrasing here) he observed that what Rome says of herself, the Orthodox Church would say of herself. What the Church of Rome would say of the Orthodox Church, the Orthodox Church would say of her. And both the Orthodox and the Catholic Churches hold to the same view of those communities that arose as a consequence of the Reformation: they are not Churches in the patristic understanding of the word.

I am uncertain what concerns me more about the posts on this thread: the bad manners of the Orthodox authors or the general poverty of their theological reflection. For the former I apologize (and certainly if Orthodox clergy and laity can speak for me without my permission, I can return the favor); for the later, well, I am simply sad.

If recent events in the GOA and the OCA have demonstrated anything it is that we in the Orthodox Church are failing in our mission to evangelize, catechize and reconcile to Christ not just the world, but even our own faithful (clergy and laity). While there have been notable, and ill-received exceptions, we have for years turned a blind eye to our own spiritual, pastoral and administrative shortcomings and flat out failures. And even when the fruits of our lapses are splashed all over the media, we still point fingers at each other rather than call for repentance and beg God with hymns and prayers for the renewal of His Church. Our internal scandals and divisions here in America, our triumphalism relative the the rest of Christendom, our bad manners both among ourselves and with visitors, all point to the fundamental lack of faith in Jesus Christ not only in our laity, but among our clergy and our hierarchs.

My brothers and sisters! Are we not able to be better than this? We lack nothing from God. All that is missing is our repentance, our tears. Why do we call others to repentance and ignore the call among ourselves?

People who believe in Jesus Christ simply do not behave as we behave and do not (as has been pointed out by many on this list) tolerate the malfeasance that is seen among us. While my own sinfulness does not compromise the integrity of Holy Tradition, it does compromise the integrity of my understanding of the Faith and it compromises, possibly, the integrity of my witness.

I think in the main, the Orthodox liked, but did not respect, Pope John Paul II. We were suspicious of his irenicism and jealous of his popularity. With Pope Benedict XVI, I think we do not (in the main) like him, but we (and especially the MP) respect him. While neither man could be called a fool, the current pope is tough and will in fact call us on our foolishness.

So again, my dear brother, Fr James, thank you for your posts and your patience.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

Some Ecumenical Possibilities

In the past several weeks I’ve had conversations with both Roman Catholics and Evangelical Christians about the possibility of working collaboratively with them. Stated broadly, the goal of these projects would be for each partner to help the other in their respective spiritual formation ministry. So for example, Orthodox Christians would come together with Evangelical Christians and each offer to the other their gifts and insights to help strength the other’s pastoral care; so rather then proselytizing, we want to help each other minister more effectively to their own members. Why would we do this?

The awful little secret in the Christian world is that surprising few Christians–of whatever tradition–are intentional disciples of Jesus Christ. This is not to say that people aren’t convinced of the integrity or truthfulness of our own tradition’s understanding of the Gospel. In fact, I think the less committed I am to being a disciple of Jesus Christ, the more likely I am to be very committed to my tradition.

We all know, among the Orthodox, fervent defenders of Holy Tradition and all things Eastern against all things Western, Protestant and Roman; among the Catholics we have strident proponents of papal infallibility and universal jurisdiction; among Evangelical Christians, we have aggressive soul winners who don’t even bother to learn your name before they “share” the Gospel. Unfortunately, many of the loudest and most active among us have not, as the old song says, “decided to follow Jesus.” Instead, we have allowed substituted a tradition, an institution, a program, for a living relationship with Jesus Christ.

In my informal conversations with people this is a fairly widespread phenomenon that cuts across not only traditional and denominational lines and is seen in clergy and lay leaders alike. Orthodox Christian, Roman Catholic, and Evangelical Christian congregations are filled with that most curious of creatures, the professing, even active, Christian (whether a lay person or a member of the clergy) who has never been evangelized, much less reconciled, to Jesus Christ.

As I have said before in these essays, I think that formal, theological ecumenical dialog is essential. But, and again as I’ve said before, the vast majority of Christians have neither the competency, nor the authority, to engage in such discussions.

Instead of focusing of these theological and dogmatic issues, the proposed projects reflect a pastoral mode of ecumenical dialog. What can we learn from other Christian traditions that will serve the pastoral care of the people that Christ has entrusted to our care? What can I as an Orthodox Christian learn from Roman Catholics and Evangelical Christians to make me a more effective priest? What can I learn from my Roman Catholic and Evangelical Christian brothers and sisters to help me bring myself and other Orthodox Christians into an intimate, life-giving and dynamic (in the sense of growing, not emotionally charged) relationship with Jesus Christ? And, in all humility, what can I as an Orthodox Christian and a priest offer in return?

I think that Orthodox Christians, Roman Catholics and Evangelical Christians need to see each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Yes because of our respective historical and doctrinal commitments, there are painful divisions among us that undermine the very unity we might experience personally. So until our differences are resolved we must bear the pain of these divisions precisely because we are called by Christ not only to respect not only each others’ consciences, but the consciences of the different Christian communities within which we stand.

At the same time, we can, and should, look to find the areas where our personal and communal consciences overlap. It may be a very small area. We might be able to have only a brief conversation or offer only minimal suggestions or assistance to one and other. But so what? As St Dionysius the Aeropagite says somewhere, Christians are all vessels of difference sizes, but whatever the size of the vessel, we are filled to overflowing with divine love.

As I tell my own spiritual children, this means that some of us our oceans of divine love, others lakes or swimming pools. Me? I’m a quarter teaspoon–but that’s okay, because some time you need a quarter teaspoon. Try and bake a cake with only a swimming pool to measure out the ingredients.

Granted very little may come of these common projects–indeed beyond the idea, nothing may come at all. But in Christ, very little, or even nothing at all, can become an encounter with God’s grace. After all, what do we sing in the hymns of the Feast of the Transfiguration?

Troparion
Tone 7

Thou wast transfigured on the mount, O Christ God,/ revealing Thy glory to Thy disciples as far as they could bear it./ Let Thine everlasting light shine upon us sinners/ through the prayers of the Theotokos, O Giver of Light, glory to Thee.

Kontakion
Tone 7

Thou wast transfigured on the mountain, O Christ our God,/ and Thy disciples beheld Thy glory as far as they were capable,/ that when they should see Thee crucified,/ they might know that Thy suffering was voluntary/ and might proclaim to the world/ that Thou art indeed the reflection of the Father.

In both hymns we are reminded that God conforms His Self-revelation to our, rather minimal, ability to receive what He is offering. This it seems, from the Orthodox side of the conversation at least, is the way such a collaborative, ecumenical project should go. In imitation of Jesus Christ, let us offer to one another no more than what each can bear. And let us do so in the service of bring people to a deep and personal commitment to live as disciples of Jesus Christ.

I welcome your comments, thoughts, criticism, questions, suggestions and offers of help.

In Christ,

+Fr Gregory

The Wind

From Clip Joint:

Adverts shouldn’t be moving, but we’ve found what appears to be an exception. “I was always misunderstood,” says the narrator in this US commercial. “People just didn’t seem to like me, I got on their nerves.” It’ll get to anyone who has been grizzling about the weather this summer.